Hi! I'm Magdalene
I am a recovering good girl, perfectionist, people-pleaser who is trying to figure out who the fuck she is and what the fuck she wants from this life.
Welcome to The Hoe Diaries, my darlings.
This space has been years in the making. Navigating the world of singleness, adulthood, and identity can be super fucking scary, especially when there are no directions to tell you how to succeed. Yet, for most of us, we are required by life to embark on these journeys, whether willingly or not. I, for one, am determined to make them as entertaining as possible. Enter *The Hoe Diaries*.
A little background about me, so that you can hopefully find a little piece of you:
For most of my brief existence on this planet, I have lived entirely for the pleasure and comfort of my family, teachers, friends, and community. I *excelled* at fitting in and learned how to thrive in those structures from an early age. Most of my childhood was defined by goody-two-shoes, people-pleasing, over-achieving, perfectionist tendencies sprinkled with a mix of oldest daughter syndrome and a concerning addiction to escapism through books.
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As I matured into adulthood, I jumped headfirst into therapy to deconstruct these identities and come to terms with the impact they had on my life. Therapy taught me many things, most importantly emotional intelligence, active listening, critical thinking, and observation. These new-found skills allowed me to not only look at my life with fresh eyes, but also at the lives of those around me. And I soon began to notice a terrifying trend in many of the people around me. The more adults I talked to, the more confessions I heard from people of all backgrounds about just how discontent they were with their own lives. So many people shared how they were slowly coming to realize that they had lived their life for everyone else (sound familiar?) and now found themselves having no clue who the fuck they were or what the fuck they wanted anymore. And, most devastating of all, they felt as though it was too late to do anything to change the circumstances that had created such a dissatisfying life in the first place. They were stuck. This was an agonizing realization for many and I watched the lengths many would go to avoid having to confront it any further with shock. And as I grew older, I subconsciously began to realize that I deeply resonated with these discontented people. Through therapy and emotional intelligence work, I slowly came to terms with the fact that I too was taking tentative steps along the same well-trodden path towards mediocrity and discontent, even if it didn't look like it on the outside. I'd like to think it was this realization that shocked me into finally making a change.
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So, I did what any rational person would do. I turned my entire life upside down.
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That is why, in my mid twenties, I suddenly found myself with a life that was no longer stable, monotonous, and familiar, but rather was uncertain, fascinating, and chaotic. Thanks to the workings of the Universe and my own choices, I found myself single for the first time in my adult life, living alone in a new city with six years of therapy and healing work under my belt, a MASSIVE bucket list of experiences I wished to try, and a fervent desire to rebuild my life into something that pleased ME.
But this journey scared the ever-loving shit out of me. I'd seen others embark on this path before. It looked both rewarding and agonizing in the same measure. So, in an attempt to mitigate that pain and create some external motivation to actually pursue the things I'd overturned my life for, I decided to do what any rational person would do.
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I bought a new journal.
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I decided that this journal would be used to record all my adventures, successes, failures, misdeeds and badass moments in the pursuit of this new 'life for me'. I didn't really know how to title my journal, or describe what it contained, so it remained 'that book with my stories' for a long while.
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Then one day, as I was sharing this new hobby of mine with a friend, I declared, "I'm just tryna learn how to get what I want out of dating, and I want to remember what I learn while I do it, you know? It's kinda like a diary for my hoe-ventures, if you will."
And that was it.
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The journey- and its name- was born.
Welcome to the Hoe Diaries, my darlings. Thank you for being here. This is a space for us to find the courage to 'do the damn thing', to go after the experiences, to take the risks, go on the trips, and to take our lives by the horns and live it to the fullest. Our time on this earth is too fucking short to do anything else.
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My hope is that you come to view The Hoe Diaries as your:
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Unofficial big sister, sharing all the wisdom she learns as she learns it
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Best friend, spilling the tea and holding space for your tea
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Dating guide, providing clarity and insight into the mysterious world of dating and singleness
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Thought-provoker, leaving you with wisdom nuggets and insights to chew over long after the post has been read
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A safe space to get honest and vulnerable with yourself about your own baggage, mindsets, biases, and lived experiences
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Cheerleader who pushes and inspires you to embrace your own inner hoe, take your life by the horns, and do whatever the fuck it is you want to do with it, getting as messy and imperfect as you need to along the way
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I'm building the damn plane as I fly it honestly. This space won't be perfect. This space won't be built by experts. But I am doing my best and plan to have a damn good time in the process. Join me on this journey as we navigate the ups and downs of the modern dating, adulting, and healing scene together! Lets do this shit, yeah?
